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A hardworking father

Tara Christie

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A hardworking father

If your dad is or was a hardworking man and, has helped you as much as he could at the time, no matter how good or bad you were, and is just a best dad ever. As a bread winner of the family, he is the one who exert more effort.

Father was a hardworking man who delivered bread as a living to support his wife and three children. He spent all his evenings after work attending classes, hoping to improve himself so that he could one day find a better paying job. Except for Sundays, Father hardly ate a meal together with his family. He worked and studied very hard because he wanted to provide his family with the best money could buy.

A hardworking father

Whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.

The day came when the examination results were announced. To his joy, Father passed, and with distinctions too! Soon after, he was offered a good job as a senior supervisor which paid handsomely.

Like a dream come true, Father could now afford to provide his family with life’s little luxuries like nice clothing, fine food and vacation abroad.

However, the family still did not get to see father for most of the week. He continued to work very hard, hoping to be promoted to the position of manager. In fact, to make himself a worthily candidate for the promotion, he enrolled for another course in the open university.

A hardworking father

Again, whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.

Father’s hard work paid off and he was promoted. Jubilantly, he decided to hire a maid to relieve his wife from her domestic tasks. He also felt that their three-room flat was no longer big enough, it would be nice for his family to be able to enjoy the facilities and comfort of a condominium. Having experienced the rewards of his hard work many times before, Father resolved to further his studies and work at being promoted again. The family still did not get to see much of him. In fact, sometimes Father had to work on Sundays entertaining clients. Again, whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.

As expected, Father’s hard work paid off again and he bought a beautiful condominium overlooking the coast of Singapore. On the first Sunday evening at their new home, Father declared to his family that he decided not to take anymore courses or pursue any more promotions. From then on he was going to devote more time to his family.

Father did not wake up the next day.

It’s very inspiring and touching story. A father do his best for her family for them to have a stable and better life. Respect and valued all the efforts of your parents, this is the way to show their love.

Relationships

Heart-felt gift for friends

Tara Christie

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Heart felt gift for friends

In a friendship, it is not important whether your gift is an object or affection. But, the most important is your presence to each other that is what  a heart-felt gift for your friend.

True friends are not fussy or judgemental. They care not what you are worth or what you own. And they certainly understand the meaning of your friendship, and whatever you may give as a present comes from the heart. Here are some of the most heartfelt gifts you can offer good friends, without a bit of monetary investment.

1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING…
But you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening.

2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION…
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

3) THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER…
Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, “I love to laugh with you.”

Heart-felt gift for friends (3)

 

4) THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE…
It can be a simple “Thanks for the help” note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note could be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life (although it may cost a stamp if you mail it)

 

5) THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT…
A simple and sincere, “You look great in red,” “You did a super job” or “That was a wonderful meal” can make someone’s day.

Heart-felt gift for friends (2)

6) THE GIFT OF A FAVOR…
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.

7) THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE…
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

8) THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION…
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone. Really, it’s not that hard to say “Hello” or “Thank You.”

Every gift for your friend is important, learn to value even if it’s not a concrete gift. The most special gift for your friendship is your quality time together.

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Relationships

Do You Know You Are Loved?

Polly Stevens

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Do You Know You Are Loved

Do You Know You Are Loved?

It has been my good fortune to know Dr. Everett Blanton and to be counted among his friends. Come to think of it, that doesn’t make me all that special. His circle of friends is pretty large. And I don’t know anyone in his still-larger circle of acquaintances that didn’t like him and respect him.

This is how his booming voice greeted those of us fortunate enough to be his friends: “Has anyone told you today that he loves you?”

The first time he posed the question to you, you may have tried to answer it. You would try to remember if your wife or children said “I love you” before they left for school or when you left for work. Or perhaps you would simply be stunned by such a question – and stand a bit wide-eyed and not know how to respond.

His handsome face would break into a broad grin, and he would say something on this order: “Well, I do! And I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you. You are special to me, and I am grateful to have you in my life.”

Do You Know You Are Loved

Now that might sound mushy – if not downright suspicious – if Everett’s hair had not been completely white and his face marked with the signs of age. Coming from him, both males and females heard the genuine affirmation of a godly man who wanted to tell the people in his life how he valued them.

When a move to another state put distance between us, we would occasionally speak by phone. It was always important for me to begin the conversation. As soon as he picked up, I would say, “Everett, has anybody told you today how loved you are?” He would laugh, call my name, and tell me how special I was to him. There was no way to get ahead of him!

Everett Blanton passed away. Loved and supported by children and grandchildren, he had battled cancer courageously – and tried to keep his family from worrying too much about it. The battle had become hard.

His closest ally, best friend, and devoted wife through all his life adventures, Peggy, mourns his loss – but smiles at the treasure trove of sweet memories they made together. She tells me how fortunate she was to have had all those years with him. He would tell you he was the lucky one.

You don’t have to know Everett to learn from him. Learn to affirm the people who are important in your life. Tell them you love them. Then tell them again and once more for good measure. Be remembered for it when it comes your time to go home. As Joe Bain said, Everett was “a man with the kindest heart I’ve ever known.” Wouldn’t that be a wonderful way for people to remember you?

Rubel Shelly

Rubel Shelly is a Preacher and Professor of Religion and Philosophy located in Rochester Hills, Michigan. In addition to church and academic responsibilities, he has worked actively with such community projects as Habitat for Humanity, American Red Cross, From Nashville With Love, Metro (Nashville) Public Schools, Faith Family Medical Clinic, and Operation Andrew Ministries.

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Darth Vader Quotes – Be Seduced by the Dark Side

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Darth Vader Quotes

Undoubtedly Darth Vader is one of the most well known movie character of all time.  The villain that was a good guy of the Star Wars franchise, is considered one of the most powerful and prominent movie villains of all time, but has it always been like that? The answer is no…

As it turned out he was once a heroic Jedi Knight.  Learning his craft under Obi-Wan Kenobi many considered he was the “chosen one” the one born to bring balance to the universe. However that did not turn out to be the case as Anikan  was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force, to became a Sith Lord, and led the Empire’s elimination of the Jedi Order. For decades, He remained in service of an evil Emperor – Darth Sidious – enforcing his Master’s will and seeking to destroy the fledgling Rebel Alliance. But was there still good in him?

 

darth vader quotes

 

“Luke, I am your father.”

 

darth vader quotes

 

“I am altering the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further.”

 

darth vader quotes

 

“If this is a consular ship, where is the ambassador?”

 

darth vader quotes

 

“I sense something. A presence I have not felt since….”

 

darth vader quotes

 

“That name no longer has any meaning for me.”

 

best darth vader quotes

 

“This will be a day long remembered.”

 

best darth vader quotes

 

“All too easy.”

 

best darth vader quotes

 

“Anakin Skywalker was weak. I destroyed him.”

 

best darth vader quotes

 

“Apology accepted, Captain”

Darth Vader quotes from the Dark Side

best darth vader quotes

 

“Be careful not to choke on your aspirations.”

 

star wars quotes darth vader

 

“Don’t fail me again, Admiral.”

 

star wars quotes darth vader

 

“From my point of view, the Jedi are evil.”

 

star wars quotes darth vader

 

“He will join us or die, my master.”

 

star wars quotes darth vader

 

“He will not be permanently damaged.”

 

star wars quotes darth vader

 

“He’s all yours, bounty hunter. Reset the chamber for Skywalker.”

famous darth vader quotes

 

“He’s just a boy.”

 

famous darth vader quotes

 

“I do not want the Emperor’s prize damaged.”

 

famous darth vader quotes

 

“I find your lack of faith disturbing.”

 

famous darth vader quotes

 

“I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire.”

 

Yoda Star wars Quotes

Best Darth Vader quotes

 

famous darth vader quotes

“I have felt it.”

darth vader quotes dark side

 

“If he could be turned, he would become a powerful ally.”

 

“Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well.”

 

“It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son.”

 

“Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.”

 

“Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.”

 

“Take the princess and the Wookie to my ship.”

 

“The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.”

 

“The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your Master now.”

 

“Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends.”

Famous Darth Vader quotes

“The Force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet.”

darth vader quotes dark side

 

“There is no escape. Don’t make me destroy you.”

 

“Luke, you do not yet realize your importance.”

 

“The circle is now complete.”

 

“When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the master.”

 

“We would be honored, if you would join us.”

 

 “With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.”

 

darth vader quotes dark side

 

“Yes, your thoughts betray you.”

Star Wars quotes Darth Vader

darth vader quotes dark side

 

“You are beaten. It is useless to resist.”

 

darth vader quotes dark side

 

“You don’t know the power of the dark side.”

 

“You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me.”

 

“You have failed me for the last time, Admiral….”

 

Star wars quotes

 

“You have learned much, young one.”

 

Star wars quotes

 

“You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not fight, then you will meet your destiny.”

 

“You’re asking me to be rational. That is something I know I cannot do.”

 

“Your destiny lies with me Skywalker. Obi-Wan knew this to be true.”

 

Yoda Star wars Quotes

More quotes from Darth Vader

 

“Now his failure is complete.”

“I see through the lies of the Jedi.”

 

Star wars quotes

 

“I do not fear the dark side as you do.”

 

“Just for once let me look on you with my own eyes… You were right. You were right about me. Tell your sister you were right.”

 

“Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force… ”

 

“I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire.”

 

“Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son.”

 

“She must have hidden the plans in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally, Commander. There’ll be no one to stop us this time.”

 

“This will be a day long remembered. It has seen the end of Kenobi; it will soon see the end of the Rebellion.”

 

“I do not want the Emperor’s prize damaged. We will test it…on Captain Solo.”

 

“There is no escape. Don’t make me destroy you. Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.”

 

“If you only knew the power of the dark side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.”

 

“Sister! So, you have a twin sister! Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the dark side, then perhaps she will!”

 

Yoda Star wars Quotes

 

“You saw what we did there right?”

 

Star wars quotes

 

“When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master.”

 

“The Force is strong with this one. ”

 

“Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for… sister. So, you have a twin sister.”

 

“Your feelings have now betrayed her, too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete.”

 

“I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do.”

 

“Power! Unlimited power!”

 

“You are a part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor!”

 

“What have I done?”

 

“Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral.”

 

“Give into your hate and anger”

 

“I sense something.”

 

“I have you now. ”

 

“What is thy bidding, my Master? ”

Best Darth Vader quotes

“This technological terror is nothing compared to the power of the force”

 

“All I am surrounded by is fear, and dead men!”

 

“Search your feelings, you know it to be true!”

 

“You are unwise to lower your defenses!”

 

“Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong.”

 

“I hope so for your sake, the Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.”

 

“I sense something. A presence I have not felt since….”

 

“There is no escape. Don’t make me destroy you. Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.”

 

 

Which of these Darth Vader quotes is your favorite?

Darth Vader’s tragic story as the valiant Jedi Knight turned evil is proof that even the good people of this world can make bad decisions when caught in a compromising circumstance in the name of love.

 

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Personal Growth

What is A Family?

Sheila J. Highland

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What is a Family

What Is A Family?

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: “Daddy, may I ask you a question?”

DAD: “Yeah sure, what is it?” replied the man.

SON: “Daddy, how much do you make an hour?”What is a Family

DAD: “That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?” the man said angrily.

SON: “I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?”

DAD: “If you must know, I make $20 an hour.”

“Oh,” the little boy replied, with his head down. Looking up, he said,

“Daddy, may I please borrow $10?”

The father was furious, “If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior.” The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money? After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10 and he really didn’t ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door. “Are you asleep, son?” He asked. “No daddy, I’m awake,” replied the boy.“I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier,” said the man. “It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $10 you asked for.” The little boy sat straight up, smiling. “Oh, thank you, daddy!” He yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father. “Why do you want more money if you already have some?” the father grumbled. “Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,” the little boy replied. “Daddy, I have $20 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.” Share this story with someone you like…. But even better, share $20 worth of time with someone you love. It’s just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family. An unwise investment indeed!

Moral: In our busy lives in this world, we should not neglect our family. Let us spend more quality time with our loved ones especially our family.

 


What is a Family? is a motivating story of more quality time with family. Another moving story is True Wealth.


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Love

Salt Coffee Story – A Wonderful Love Story

Polly Stevens

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Salt Coffee Story

The Salt Coffee Story

He met her at a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was average looking, shy and awkward.

At the end of the party, he finally summoned some courage to invite the girl to have coffee with him. She was surprised, but out of politeness, she accepted his invitation to go on a date. They both sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, waiting for coffee. With him being so shy and awkward around her, It seemed like the conversation between them would never start.salt coffee story

The coffee was brought and suddenly, he asked the waiter. “Would you please get me some salt? I’d like to put it in my coffee!” Everyone at the cafe stared at him with a strange look! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously, “Why this unusual habit?” He took a couple of sips and replied, “When I was a little boy, I lived near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there.” While saying that tears filled his eyes.

She was deeply touched. That’s his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has realized his responsibility for his family … She then started talking about her childhood, her faraway hometown, and her family.

That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their love story. They continued to date. She found that actually, he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good man and had it not been for the salt in the coffee, she’d never have really known him!

The rest of the story was just like any other beautiful love story: they finally got married, and they lived a very happy married life. And sure! every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, just the way he liked it! After 40 years of marital bliss, he died after a short illness.

One day, she found a letter he had left for her which said,

“My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life’s lie. This was the only lie I said to you—the salty coffee.

Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually, I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything…

Now I’m dying, so I tell you the truth, I don’t like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste… But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again.

Please forgive me, darling.. for lying to you first in that Coffee Shop and then not telling you the truth every time you made coffee for me! I am not lying now when I say, I couldn’t have that coffee any other way! – still madly in love with you”

Salt Coffee Story

Tears fell down her cheek as she finished reading the letter.

If anybody asks her: “How did that salted coffee taste?” “It’s sweet.” She always replied.

I hope that you enjoyed the Salt Coffee story, if you did please share it on your favourite social media channel.


Visit 101 Romeo and Juliet Quotes


 

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Love

Relationship Red Flags Your Missing

Sheila J. Highland

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relationship

The hottest days of the year call for a Summer Fling. This week, we’re deep-diving into sex, dating, and relationship drama, here.

There is a common misconception that you can point to the same three issues to explain any divorce: infidelity, financial impropriety, or substance abuse. “That’s pretty much what any divorce lawyer is going to tell you is the unholy trinity,” says James J. Sexton, author of the ominously titled If You’re In My Office, It’s Already Too Late. “But no single raindrop is responsible for the flood. Divorce, in fact, is like death by a thousand papercuts.”

In other words, while one of those big issues may represent an undercurrent of strain in a relationship, there will often be some more subtle red flags that pop up before everything goes boom. And if you can catch those red flags early on, it might be easier to change the tide and lead your marriage back to dry land. “Marriage tends to be between two people who start out with a lot of optimism and want to stay connected, but have a hard time maintaining that over time,” Sexton says. And after seeing countless couples come through his office having lost theirs, he has learned that maintaining that connection is the key to a happy partnership.

Ahead, Sexton breaks down the sneaky relationship-ruiners to keep an eye out for, and relationship expert Megan Stubbs has advice on exactly what to do when you see them cropping up. With any luck, you’ll be able to defuse your problem areas, before, as Sexton diagnoses in his book, it’s “too late.”

relationship
Arno Images/Getty Images

Red flag: You feel the need to convince others of how amazing your relationship is.

Do you find yourself jumping to your partner’s defense, possibly out of the blue, in conversation with close friends or family? When you’re on vacation with your partner, are you focused on posting photos to show what a good time you’re having more than, you know, having a good time? Sexton says that you might need to check yourself and see why. “I always reference the phrase ‘money talks, wealth whispers’ when talking about this,” he says. “Legitimately happy people don’t feel the need to advertise that connection to people.” All that oversharing can point to major relationship problem area, according to Sexton. “It spells insecurity.”

The fix: If you find yourself constantly humble bragging (or regular bragging), you need to figure out why you feel the urge to justify—or defend—your choice in partner to others. If any part of that is that your friends or family have some misgivings about your SO, then it’s a good idea to listen to them. “Chances are, your closest friends know you best, and they also want the best for you,” Stubbs says. “If they’re expressing some concerns, it’s a good idea to listen to them. They may be able to see things you can’t.”

relationship
alvarez/Getty Images

Red flag: You’re comparing your relationship to other people’s.

Between sexy vacation snaps on Instagram and engagement announcements on Facebook, social media is a battleground of relationship milestones—and it doesn’t care how ready you are to face them. If your relationship isn’t on solid ground, it’s so easy to fall into a stalking hole. Next thing you know, you’re awake at 3 AM looking at your ex’s new girlfriend and wondering why your boyfriend doesn’t post loved-up selfies of the two of you to his wall. (Or is that just me?)

This problem behind this red flag isn’t relationship-specific, but it can be a doozy if you’re in one. “The danger is that social media is curated,” Sexton says. “You wind up comparing your everyday life to someone’s highlight reel, so your real life will pale in comparison.” And since people rarely talk about the negative aspects of their relationship online, it can seem like you’re the only one hitting the rocks. Your high school crush isn’t going to write a Facebook status about how his wife of seven years has a crush on their dog-walker and they both know it. It’s just gonna be “happy anniversary, babe!” year after year. Try to remember that you may be envying something that’s not even real.

The fix: Stubbs says this damaging comparison game sets up unhealthy expectations that can exacerbate an already less-than-Zen situation in your relationship. But, it’s not all bad.

“If there are attributes you see in other couples that you’d like to have in yours, have a conversation about it,” Stubbs says. But tread carefully. “Starting off with ‘why can’t you be more like so-and-so’ isn’t the best way.” Instead, frame it in a positive way. Saying something like, “Sara and Emily have a date night every Friday, and they seem to have so much fun doing it. I think we’d have a great time if we had a date night, too.” By framing it as a challenge you can overcome together, you’re making it about your partnership—not your partner’s shortcomings.

Red flag: You’re spending a ton of time on social media (or your partner is).

“I can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen who come in for what I call the ‘Facebook Divorce,’” Sexton says, ominously. “It’s definitely a trend that’s on the rise.” What he means is that Facebook is the perfect storm of the last two red flags. There, you can while away the hours justifying how amazing your relationship is while also comparing the intensity of your love to that of everyone you’ve ever known. Helpful.

“You also tend to be on Facebook or Instagram when you’re not enjoying or engaging with the situation around you,” he says. If you aren’t having a good time, you’re going to feel vulnerable—and you probably already know that social media is a terrible place to be in that moment. “The hits are going to hit harder when you’re vulnerable,” Sexton says.

Say vulnerability is a gas leak; Facebook—and its ability to show you everything about your exes at all times—is like a match. “It’s suggesting to you friends that you might want to add, specifically people from your past,” Sexton says. “And what do people tend to do on social media? You look up every ex-boyfriend or girlfriend you’ve ever had. That’s normal and human, but it creates a situation where people can reach out to people they have no business talking to,” at the exact worst time to reignite those conversations. This, Sexton says, creates a colossal amount of infidelity in marriages.

The fix: “Everyone has their thing, and if social media is your partner’s, then that’s okay,” Stubbs says. “But if it’s starting to become an issue in your relationship, talk about it.” She says to frame the conversation in a way that isn’t accusatory, but understanding. Ask your partner what they like about social media and why they feel the need to spend so much time on it. It could uncover some rockiness in your relationship from their point of view.

“Social media is tricky, and I urge caution when equating likes outside of your relationship as a reflection of your own relationship happiness and status,” Stubbs says. A good compromise? One or two tech-free evenings a week. It will give you the ability to spend quality time together—without competing for each other’s attention.

relatiosnhip
Rawpixel/Getty Images

Red flag: You stop talking about sex.

Now a lot of people would argue that the red flag gets thrown when you stop having regular sex with your partner. But Sexton says that’s a misdirection. “People’s sex lives change throughout their marriages,” he says. “Bodies change, desires change, people have kids, and so on.” So while you may have started out all hot and heavy, things tend to ebb and flow as your relationship progresses. That isn’t a red flag—that’s life.

What is a red flag, however, is when you stop talking about having sex. “Sex is the one conversation you absolutely must be able to have with your partner,” Sexton says. Changes to your sex life don’t have to be a problem, if you’re open and able to ride them out together. But if changes are afoot, and you and your partner haven’t been able to face each other about it? That’s a big deal.

The fix: You guessed it: communication. “It is key in all things,” Stubbs says. “Assumptions really do nothing for us, so it’s always a good idea to bring up any issue you may have face-to-face with your partner.” That, it seems, is the absolute fix to all of these red flags. Discuss your problems instead of letting them fester. Give your partner a chance to share their feelings. Meet in the middle where possible. Talk things out until you figure out where that middle is.

Sexton agrees, and says he tends to see folks in his office who have bottled up feelings or concerns for far too long, only to have everything explode. “You’ll hear of couples who go from having a conversation about the weather to screaming about how one of their mothers got too drunk at the wedding,” Sexton says. Relationships take work, and keeping them going for years upon years at a time can feel like a big task, especially when new technology comes out seemingly hell-bent on ruining anyone’s chances. The good news—on which Sexton and Stubbs agree—is that there’s almost no problem you can’t unpack with a good talk.

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